My truth about having ADD

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Nobody wants to be completely honest. Unless there’s wine involved 😉

I read so many ‘mommy blogs.’ I pander to them in my work as a blogger/social media marketer. I identify with them as a mom. Until I’ve read so fucking many of the same goddamn thing, I just wish bitches would shut the fuck up!

And then, late at night (or early in the morning — or whenever a quiet moment and inspiration align), I become one. I am shouting out into the ether, begging for someone to notice me. I want to know that I am not alone. I want to entertain or relieve or relate to someone else out there.

And I want to do about 56 billion other things because I have ADD. That means Attention Deficit Disorder, although it seems to be classified as “Inattentive” ADHD.

I am still struggling with recognizing this as an actual disorder. Everyday, I feel like, “If I was good enough….,” this wouldn’t be a problem. And I don’t know that that isn’t true. 😦

But I do know that since I began admitting that I was attention deficit, and taking medication for it, I have been able to complete more sentences. I have also burnt less food, and I have been able to remember why I was mad at any one of my numerous children, instead of just blaming my agitation on my generic failures as a mother.

Does any of this make sense? Or do I just sound like a bigger basket case for putting a label on it?

Depending on your answer, I could go on indefinitely about it…haha, that is the nature of the disorder!

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Remembering why I started this….

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I like writing.

When I took the ASVAB test in 7th grade (just had to Google that to see if it was still a thing, my self-restraint is working overtime to keep me on track with this post instead of seeing if I can retake it online right now for free. This is why I never get things done!) it said I should be a writer. I thought that was cool since I liked to write but never really imagined it panning out.

When a company I was working for asked me to write for their blog, I was stoked. And now I like to say with a little bravado, “I’m a writer.” But then I quickly downplay that because blogging doesn’t feel like what 7th grade me thought the ASVAB results meant (and since blogging wasn’t even a thing back then, it clearly wasn’t!).

But anyway, I started (and haphazardly maintain) this blog because I like writing. And also because I wanted to write down some of the good things about life, the happy moments that are too quickly forgotten in the onslaught of undone chores and never-ending negotiations. I kind of veered off of that noble track because I like to think of myself as kind of clever and witty, maybe even funny, so I’ve been trying to share more of my humor here. But I was just rereading older posts (is that narcissistic?) and got all sentimental about this one.

BGSo to hop back on that track for a moment, I wanted to preserve this piece of art (before it becomes a piece of trash) that my Kindergartner made for my 2 year old. He is currently OBSESSED with “Bubble Guppies” so she wrote “bg” on the picture. I’m not sure if there are any more connections to the show and the picture than that, the blue could be water, but it could be sky — it looks like there is a sun in the upper right…? The lower portion has some yellow circles, your guess is as good as mine….

But it sure was sweet and thoughtful, wasn’t it?!?!?